These are easy to say, hard to do.
Self Awareness is key.
Communication is key.
Managing and setting expectations is key.
This is generally for romantic relationships, can work for platonic relationships.
Know your boundaries.
Make each other laugh, always.
Chemistry is important.
Short term is important. (Honeymoon, Chemistry, Energy)
Long term is important. (Sustainably)
If you don't have the short term, then you have to figure out how to survive the long term.
Its ok to put pressure on each other, you both can grow from it. Be aware of the pressure you apply on each other.
What childhood pains are you both going through?
Experiment to figure out how to work with each other.
Learn to be independent.
Learn to be together.
Work as a team. "Us against the world"
The highs are easy. The lows are hard.
Real life relationships are not a Disney fairy tale.
It's the small things.
It's the big things.
All of these will require willpower.
Know how you want to be loved?
Do your values align?
You can only love your partner. If you can love yourself.
Can you forgive yourself?
Can they take care of themselves.
Your partner will never complete you. Only you can complete yourself. Your partner can help you complete yourself.
Your mood will effect your partners mood.
Accept imperfections. Yours, and theirs.
Helps in the short term.
Helps you connect with each other.
Gives you something to talk about.
Gives you something common to talk about.
Do you have shared short term goals?
Do you have shared long term goals?
Are you working together as a team towards that?
Are you friends with each other?
How do you set each other up for success?
How do you help to complete each other?
How do you help each other on your spiritual journey?
How do you help each other out?
Do relationships come naturally to you?
Do both of you know how to have a relationship?
Do you accept each other, for who they currently are?
How similar are you?
Is this someone you can work with?
Short term relationships focuses on shared interests.
What baggage are each of you carrying?
How do you move from fun to work?
The space from each other is where you grow.
Be prepared for routine. Enjoy some of the routine. Add excitement, spice, serendipity, but don't over do it. Don't force it.
Do you make time for each other?
Do you sacrifice for each other?
Do you make each other happy?
Do you make each other laugh?
Do you support each other?
Can you survive each others lows?
Have to grow through the seasons together.
Long term relationships focuses on shared goals.
Communication is key.
Communication is even more important.
With less physical time with each other, there will be less pressure.
Communication with each other is important.
Having something common to talk about is even more important.
Time Zone Difference:
You can't "invite" the person out.
No matter the timeline, you are immediately thrown into a "long term relationship" mode.
Try over sharing.
Dedicate a private time to talk to each other.
Easier to grow apart.
Hard to get back together.
Best is complete silence. Clean cut.
Consider it as mostly final.
Going on and off repeatedly is painful. (Breaks)
Disrespect of boundaries. Yours and their owns.
Be conscious. Be aware.
Stop being reactive and automatic.
Requires work from both people.
If you do, both of you need to figure out how.
Acknowledge that it is going to take work, and time.
Classical/Practical Me says: If you don't. End it now.
Romantic Me says: Fight for it. Figure out how long you can fight and sustain it for.
Ask each other: How is each other working on the relationship?
Are you both going to work on it.
Run experiments to figure out how to work with each other.
Don't forget to have fun.
Learn how to have fun with each other.
Learn to play with each other play.
It will take time.
Do these together.
If you don't want to work together, your relationship is going to fail. You have to work as a team.
Sometimes it's better to be happily alone, than in a miserable relationship.